Carry On Censor...

In these days of increasing lawlessness, when cars are so frequently used in the perpetration of robberies and other crimes, it is reassuring to know that everything possible is being done to make vehicles easy to identify. Well, that is to say, everything except allowing them to drive around sporting truly eye-catching number plates.

DVLA, that stout arbiter of public taste and morality, has once again wielded the blue pencil, boldly striking from the list of forthcoming marks anything which has even the most outrageously slim chance of causing offence.

And once again, we do not, in principle, see anything wrong with keeping an eye on things just in case something slips through the filters that could cause genuine distress, or be used to some obnoxious political end. For that reason, we can understand why the motorist's version of Big Brother should ban BA57 ARD, and perhaps (obscure though it is) HE57 ABS ("he stabs"). We also see why, in the current political climate HO57 AGE might be considered something we could live without seeing on our streets. To be honest, though, when the ban extends to numbers such as EA57 GAL ("easy gal") we begin to scratch our heads. One would surely have to work exceptionally hard to be offended by that one.

And TE57 CLE. For a start, even if the numbers were letters, it wouldn't actually spell "testicle" at all, and if it did what on earth is the problem? The character combination bears a passing resemblance to a perfectly correct, non-slang, word for a part of the human body. Does the DVLA think there is a risk that a number plate that looks a little bit like the word "testicle" will precipitate a return to the era of smutty, Benny Hill-style giggling at bottoms, bosoms and private parts?

Actually, "Easy Gal" does have a bit of a Carry On ring to it.

Ooh, Matron...