Parental Discretion Advised

We advise parents of small children and those of a nervous disposition that the following blog entry may contain scenes of violence.

Our next employee profile is one I've been dreading. If I overstep the mark I could be in grave danger...

Angela Banh combines the roles of Marketing Manager and Company Assassin.

The marketing and private number plates bit of her job is, to be honest, too dull to write about. The other bit, however, the assassin thing... now that's quite interesting.

Angela claims to have been trained by the ancient Chinese Shaolin martial arts master Bak Mei, originator of "White Eyebrow" Kung Fu. While no one would dare directly question the accuracy of her claim, there do seem to be one or two points that make one wonder. The fact that Bak Mei lived several hundred years ago is one thing. As is Angela's claim that her martial arts style includes a technique that allows her to kill by email. As far as we can ascertain, this is not a traditional part of the Bak Mei style.

Another technique which appears to be at odds with known traditional Chinese styles is her use of assassination by reverse parking. The photograph below illustrates the aftermath of an attack using this technique.


Angela, like many of those we have already introduced, is quite musical. While she is not much of a singer (couldn't carry a tune if her life depended on it), she can play one Irish jig on the tin whistle, and regularly performs a cover version of the song "Smelly Cat" from TV's Friends on guitar.

Once again combining two roles, this time that of musician with that of assassin, she has recently composed a piece she calls "Duet for Groaning Victims".